Purposes For Which Dragons Seem Ideal But Are In Fact Useless

1) Cooking. They burn everything.

2) Home Protection. They deter most burglars on sight, but legitimate tradesmen also. The one alarm your insurance  provider won’t give you a discount on your premium.

3) Airline. Quite turbulent to travel on as the critter keeps snapping at its handler.  Particularly unpleasant to sit in the front rows.

4) Bodyguard. Nobody messes with you if you have a dragon by your side, but they aren’t exactly discrete and won’t fit into most houses without tremendous alterations.

5) Matchmaking.  The demands of dragon slaying doesn’t leave much time for other interests. Being good at slaughtering them doesn’t make you an ideal spouse for their prisoners. While all you want to talk about is dragons and how to kill them, they want to avoid the topic altogether for the rest of their lives.

6) Banking. Sure, your money is safe. Dragons don’t tend to mess with dodgy financial instruments. But, where is the interest? And attempting to withdraw part of your savings can be a nightmare.

7) Defrosting the car. Best avoided unless your vehicle is made of asbestos.

8) Demolition. They are simply too good at this. You might want a wall removed, but they’ll tear down the whole house.

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