1. Don’t be a farmer. Particularly if you are in no way jolly, lovable or quaint. You are likely to die.
2. Be ready to run if monsters attack or heroes start talking about the necessity of bravery.
3. Chosen ones are dangerous to adopt. If a mysterious baby is left on your doorstep, drop it over to your neighbour’s house, knock on the door, and run.
4. Make sure that you use the most advanced farm technology that the anachronisms in your secondary world allow.
5. Don’t waste your money on unicorns. They are lovely to look at but aren’t much good at pulling a plough.
6. Have a good pest management plan in place for rodents, foxes, wolves, and orcs.
7. Your choice of crop should be maize. If your winter store is hit by dragon fire, you can still eat the resulting popcorn.